I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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