I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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