what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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