I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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