I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
