she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize