If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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