Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
