Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
