Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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