butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
from now on my penis is your penis
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
