I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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