if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
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i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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