He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
