big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.