Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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