If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
