I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
