I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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