thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
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