Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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