The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
