Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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