i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
