i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
