Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
