don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
