Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
