Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
