He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
