I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
pray to the hookup gods
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
