i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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