Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
