sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
