do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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