you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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