There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
