Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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