And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
