we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
