Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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