it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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