We're facebook friends in real life
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
