I need to stop coming to work sober
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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