you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
