wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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