love makes seman taste better
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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