Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
