I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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