This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
