Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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