so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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