Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
