Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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