did you get engaged???
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
