i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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