no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
