Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
