Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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