If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
